Visiting

11/01/24

Dear Diary,

The weeks have been flying by, and I haven’t had the chance to put pen to paper. The last time I wrote was a late night when my grandmother passed away and joined the angels in heaven. I felt the need to connect and express my emotions, so I sat down and filled the pages with words.

That morning, I followed my planned routine. I went to get my nails done and then visited Zen for coffee and chat, before leaving for the weekend.

What we had been a pleasant surprise, and we had been enjoying each other’s company and fun.

He was working at his house, and I decided to surprise him by showing up unexpectedly.

I love surprises, even when I surprise myself at times!

While I was on my way to see him, my sister text and called to informed me that our grandmother had passed away. It was a sudden and unexpected loss.

I went to see Zen, It was comforting to have someone by my side during this difficult time. I was asked about my plans for the day, as I had originally planned to go to Dublin for a long-awaited concert. Life has a way of changing plans in the blink of an eye, and this time was no exception.

All my travel arrangements were quickly rearranged. My sister picked me up on the other side, and I finally had the chance to spend some time with her and her family.

I also reached out to my stepdad and asked if I could stay with him after the funeral.

It was his mother who had passed away. When I called him, he didn’t sound as sad as I had expected. He simply said that my grandmother had lived a long life, and it was her time to go. I had to accept that reality. And so, the journey began.

I managed to overcome the disappointment of the long hours spent waiting at the airport. Finally, I boarded the plane and headed to Poland once again this year. It was surprising how many times I had visited Poland amidst the chaos of buying a house. But I believe that what is meant to be will be.

When I arrived at my sister’s place, I had the best time with her and her family. I missed them all so much, and seeing the kids filled me with joy. I couldn’t help but notice how much they had grown and changed since I last saw them three months ago. And as for myself, have I changed? That’s a good question. Yes, I have. I have learned to be more grateful and live in the present moment. I have learned to treasure every moment because nothing stays the same.

I have grown, changed, and started seeing things differently, which has brought about changes in my surroundings as well.

Life is full of surprises at every corner. As I attended my grandmother’s funeral, a few things seemed off, but I dismissed them, attributing it to the grief and loss we were all experiencing. However, I couldn’t ignore the signs for too long. The first sign was when my dad ordered a mass card that mentioned “son with wife and family.” It struck me as strange because my mom, his wife, had passed away almost five years ago (they never divorced). I had my own dilemma about what to write on the mass card. Should I mention that I am the granddaughter, even though I am not biologically related. In the end, I decided to write “granddaughter” because that’s what she was to me. She will always be my granny, the one who called me every Christmas when most of my family didn’t. She was an angel on earth, and I am grateful for her love and kind heart.

The next sign was the flowers that also mentioned “son and wife.” I was intrigued by these signs, but the last thing on my mind was that my dad had gotten married. Yes, that’s right. He got married on the same day that my grandmother passed away. He married a woman he had been with for over 30 years. When I congratulated him, he was alone, and as we walked to the grave together, he said that it was what my grandmother wanted. I was overjoyed for them. This marriage would bring about changes for all of us. Tears of joy filled my eyes, and I was moved by the love and care he had for his new wife. I had never seen that side of him before. Perhaps I wasn’t ready to see my dad happy before. I had always looked at him through my mother’s eyes. But now, I am determined to see things for myself. It’s not always easy to let go of old habits and beliefs, but I am working on it.

As the days passed, I found myself reflecting on the journey that brought me here. Life has a way of throwing unexpected twists and turns our way, and it’s up to us to navigate through them with grace and resilience. I have learned that change is inevitable, and it’s how we adapt to it that defines our character.

During my time in Poland, I had the opportunity to reconnect with my roots and immerse myself in the rich culture and traditions of my heritage. I visited the small village where my grandmother grew up, walking the same streets she once walked and hearing stories of her childhood. It was a humbling experience that reminded me of the importance of family and the legacy we leave behind.

I also had the chance to spend quality time with my stepdad and his new wife. It was heartwarming to see them so happy together, embarking on a new chapter in their lives. Their love story taught me that it’s never too late to find happiness and that love can come in unexpected ways.

As I returned home, I carried with me a renewed sense of gratitude and appreciation for the people and experiences that shape our lives. Life is a journey, and it’s the connections we make along the way that make it meaningful. I have learned to cherish every moment, to embrace change, and to find beauty in the unexpected.

Life is full of surprises, both joyful and challenging. It’s how we navigate through them that defines who we are. My journey to Poland taught me the importance of family, the power of love, and the resilience of the human spirit. I am grateful for the lessons learned and the memories made. As I continue on this journey called life, I will carry these experiences with me, knowing that change is inevitable, but it is our response to it that truly matters.

Love Kay ❤️