Life is unexpected 

05/11/2016
Dear Dairy,

I’m sad… I’m slowly getting over my sad days but still can’t believe that so many sad and bad things happened again.
I will start from beginning… I thought that my bad days or even times are over for now but no they not… they always waiting for good moments to arise again…
Ten  days ago I wake up with bad feelings.

I thought that I was a bit anxious about busy day ahead also about my weighing day… I was up 1 pound… but well… I know that I didn’t eat as good as I should. I didn’t eat sweets at all but I didn’t eat protein too so that’s why I didn’t burn fat.
That problem was my least problem.
That morning I called in to church and had few prayers… don’t know why I was doing that…but I did. I went to work and had felt like I’m going to die, very strange felling. I eat lots of sweets that day (kinder beano…my favorite one)

I had long day work early hours nearly till eleven at night.
May want to make me dinner but I refuse. I sat down at the couch and May told me that his God Father past away that afternoon. Now I knew why I felt like that all day long. I must have sense that. My gut instinct was right!!!

I thought that I was anxious about work…  no it was about my favourite uncle in law. He was an amazing person. He was great character and very happy and smiley gentlemen. I loved him to bits as he was always honest and full of great advice. I’m still in shock… I don’t think Christmas will be as happy this year. Me and May always rang him first that day.May would talk to him like to dad. He was better then his dad. He was great role model. I know we can ring his home but that’s not the same. I know he will be in our lives and hearts but this is big lost.

Why I’m upset so much… I explain right now…
Me and May got married but I never got accepted by his family… Uncle “Smile” that’s how I will call him was one of two people who I didn’t feel judged by. The second one was May’s Auntie who is dead too not that long ago. She was great lady too.
I’m so sad, I’m angry, I’m dispointed… THIS IS LIFE.
Hard life but the truth is…
WE’RE ALL BORN TO DIE. THAT’S THE RULES.

That’s why those things and situations make me to believe what I already know LIVE YOUR DAY BEST AS YOU CAN SO YOU WON’T HAVE REGRETS.

I want to say few more things but I’m too upset by now… I will do that later. I want to say things that I didn’t think I will discuss but I think it’s time now. There is never right moment but now I feel it’s the perfect one. Chat to you later.

Love Kay ❤ xx

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